Will Durst Knows What They Did Last Summer

Will Durst (Comedy for people who read, or know someone who does) finds out what our top politicos did to recharge during their summer break from not doing anything in Washington:

Will Durst
Will Durst

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell learned how to say “No!” in 14 different languages.

Florida Senator Marco Rubio held a series of mock debates with himself on the subject of immigration and lost every single one.

President Barack Obama traded his foreign policy legacy for the chance to lower his handicap by a stroke.

Arizona Senator John McCain accepted the Curmudgeon Society of America’s “Man of the Year Award.” For the 12th consecutive time.

Secretary of State John Kerry wept like a little baby.

The 4 Conservative Justices of the Supreme Court battled the 4 Liberal Justices on the Supreme Court for the soul of Anthony Kennedy.

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton took remedial hugging lessons while surreptitiously measuring the White House drapes.

Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush looked into legally changing his name to something less incendiary. Like Manson or Hitler.

Speaker of the House John Boehner caught some bitchin rays. … Read More

— Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed political comic based in San Francisco. He is the author of Elect to Laugh! A Hilarious, Common Sense Guide to American Politics

Drug Ads Make Me Sick

Direct-to-consumer prescription drug advertising now annoys me more than ever. And it’s not just the icky erectile dysfunction ads that make us blush and leave the room when watching them with kids around. But during my recent adventures in health care through my parents I’ve learned that ads for inhalers and several other drugs are driving patients and their doctors to expensive brand names that are available far cheaper as generics. The ads don’t mention that, of course. Maybe the FDA should make them do that.

SICKENING

So I just figured out that the CEOs for the drug companies to whom my parents have paid nearly $3,000 in co-pays this year make a combined total of $12 million in salaries and benefits. Griping about stuff like that ought to be on the Tea Party agenda.

Ah – Politics in The Air

Blue Bronc

Finally! Okay, so the last nine months have been boring and worthless stuffy  crappy silly.  All those “polls” showing everything important, including which space plane will win the competition, have been good for publicity, but little else.

Now we are seeing numbers.  Labor Day has come and gone.  Denver has been snowed on.  The kiddies are back in jail school and we can focus on real stuff, like the newest Bento Box delight for lunch.  I joke there.  We can focus on politics.

votedEach year  we hear that this poll has this finding for this candidate and how horrible it is for the party; and that poll has this bad finding for the other candidate and how terrible it is for the party.  That is up until after Labor Day, the day after which people start to pay attention to politics.  This year is no different than last year or the year Julius Caesar was born.  The “normal” people, those unlike us, do not poll well until after the day celebrating getting weekends off is over.

Do you watch and enjoy the Prime Minister’s Remarks on C-Span at 3am?  You are NOT normal.  The rest of America does not!  Those are the people who do not follow candidates until now.  Yes, they do have some idea of what is happening in Congress (or rather not happening) and also locally (sort of).

Right now they are getting ready to find out what the candidates are up to.  Got time to help a candidate?  The people are now ready.

– Blue Bronc is a Trail Mix Contributor.

The “Inevitable” Hillary vs Joe Biden?

Nash 2/5
Most Democrats have assumed that no one with any chance of actually defeating her would challenge Hillary Clinton for the nomination.  And yet many kept asking, “Is there no one else?”

The Clinton machine became concerned about the repeated political commentary that Hillary was “inevitable.” They wanted everyone in the news media to BELIEVE that she was inevitable, they just didn’t want them to SAY it, at least not too often.

Speculation grew that the campaign was quietly seeking a few “straw dogs” — Democrats who would pretend to run against Hillary — and then gracefully withdraw at the right dramatic moment, in exchange for a cabinet post.

Biden HillaryEnter Joe Biden, who recently made Obama look like a professorial wimp regarding how to deal with the terrorist organization ISIS.  Obama said we have to “manage” the ISIS problem, while Biden said we have to “follow them to the gates of Hell.”  Biden is a passionate “in your face” kind of politician blue collar males can relate to, a key population group Democrats need to win.

Biden has run before and he has spent six years “a heartbeat away” from the Presidency.

For Discussion in Comments (How to Sign Up)…

  • Will Biden run for President in 2016?
  • Is he one of the Clinton “straw dogs” or a real threat to Hillary’s inevitability?
  • Can he win the nomination?

Biden’s “Gates of Hell” Speech

– Nash 2.5 is a Trail Mix Contributor. Read More by this author.
How to Become a Contributor

Can We Talk?

Patd
Are we losing our collective sense of humor? We are certainly losing our iconic humorists and clowns. Just last year: Jonathan Winters, and the year before that: Phyllis Diller. This year comedy fans lost Sid Caesar, Mickey Rooney, Robin Williams — and last week, Joan Rivers.

Add to those deaths the global silencing of folks who speak truths that make us laugh, such as Bassem Youssef, Egypt’s Jon Stewart, and those who humorously caricature deities and despots at the risk of death.

In desperate times we desperately need to laugh, to expose the naked emperors, to see the silliness in our selves, and to hear from comics like George Carlin’s unvarnished absurdities.

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”
— Mark Twain

– Patd is a Trail Mix Contributor.

Craig.Crawford
Craig Crawford
Amen to that, Patd. On a related front, and I don’t mean to discount Joan Rivers’ pioneering role for women in comedy, but the coverage I saw often called her the first — and yet Rivers would give that nod to Phyllis Diller.

Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Rivers described Diller, her mentor, as the first female comedian who “just stood up,” adding that “she didn’t sing, she didn’t dance, she just went out and competed with the men on their turf. And did it brilliantly.”

Moms Mabley
Moms Mabley
Going back further, Moms Mabley ought to be remembered as the very first female stand-up. She started performing in the 1920’s, about 30 years before Diller.

Obama Cool vs Biden Hot?

Nash 2.5
A lot of working class democrats don’t “get” Obama.  They don’t like the icy cool “Harvard professor” act that he adopted when he calmly said he wanted to “manage” the situation with the terrorist group ISIS, which posted online videos of the beheading of Americans.US-POLITICS-OBAMA-VACATION

Joe Biden, on the other hand said, “They should know we will follow them to the gates of hell until they are brought to justice, because hell is where they will reside.”  Actually, he SHOUTED it to a crowd in New Hampshire which roared in agreement.

biden_angryThat is the kind of talk that democrats who didn’t go to college can relate to.  And they don’t mind that Biden occasionally says something dumb that he has to retract. (They’ve been doing that their whole lives.)  It’s only the D.C. media pundits who give a crap about that stuff, anyway.

Hillary now has some competition.

Music & dance number “Cool,” from “West Side Story,” which is actually quite HOT.

– Nash 2.5 is a Trail Mix Contributor. Read More by this author.
How to Become a Contributor

Anyone Have A Spare Icecube?

Blue Bronc

Labor Day reminds me of a cool summer day when I was stationed in Mississippi.  The temperature is a cool 85.1F.  The humidity is 80%, without breeze.  The calculations worked and we end up with a feels like temperature of 100F.  Uck.  The way I make myself feel better is to look up the location where I was stationed in Mississippi and right now it feels like 101F.  Once again, I feel better.

Is this normal weather or not?  Probably not.  This late heat and humidity is not normal for Annapolis.  It should be lower humidity and about 83F for the day.  However, this is not out of the band of “normal”.  What is sad is the legislators, in particular the House, are not here to enjoy it.  The few times they have blessed the Capitol with their presence has been during an abnormal summer caused by a pocket of cool air from the Arctic.  For a group of them this would seem to convince their anti-science brains that global warming does not exist.

Blue Bronc
Blue Bronc
But, getting back to my ice cube.  For those who have always had ice in the freezer and never thought about a cold beer on a hot day, think about our brave and adventurous ancestors sitting around the farm in the middle Atlantic colonies on September 1, 1776.   Sure they stored away ice in the ice house, but that melted a month ago and there is nothing left but sawdust.

What do we do for cold beer?  Well, the answer is dig a hole.   Several feet down in the root cellar is a fine place to get to 50ish Fahrenheit degrees.  When you are sitting around after a hard day of work and the resulting sweat, 50F beer is good.  Even better after a couple of pints.

The second answer, and one I can only reference from memory (at times I do feel that old), is that ice peddlers would bring ice down in wagons from the North where they had it stored in warehouses.  The story of Dolly Madison and her ice cream is why I remember that.  IRC she had it brought down to the White House from a warehouse in New York.

Off the Great Lakes, and Finger Lakes, along with rivers of the north, ice would be harvested like any other crop.  The ice would be stored in great warehouses covered with sawdust for insulation.  I can tell you the sawdust does not taste good.  From these warehouses, ice would be carried south for sale to those wanting a cold beer, or whatever.  This was also the time of the Little Ice Age, causing a lot of cold winters resulting in a lot of ice.

The cellars were where the cool was and that is where the beer was for most colonists.

Here is a raised, and ice cold, brew to my ancestors.  The Fosters, Shockley,  McGill,  Juntenen’s, Simo, Antonen, Taurianen, Moilanen, Shreeve, Russel, Davis, and especially the Hickmans (and whoever else in my family tree was around in 1776).

– Blue Bronc is a Trail Mix Contributor.

Political Spouse: Spice or Spoiler?

Patd
Let’s talk about the “other half” and the problems or benefits candidates have with them. What is fair game for the media and the voters to expose and consider with regard to the negative or positive influence and personal history of a political wife or husband?

Take Mitch for instance: How can he go wrong married to a Shirley Temple look-a-like? An experienced former cabinet member, his wife comports herself admirably in ads refuting claims of his Republican war on women and the questioning of her ethnicity.

It’s also helpful that she is rich. [My apologies here for wrongly insinuating on a previous thread that Harry Truman's "You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook" applies to the Senator.] “In truth, most of the growth in his wealth stems from his marriage and money his wife received after her mother died,” says the Tampa Bay Times.

hillary-bill-clinton-60-minutes-1992Then there’s the dynamic Clinton duo. Over the years in their spousal roles each have played spice, spoiler, sweet and sour for the other. Think back to the sensational accusations made against one or the other of infidelity, racism, financial improprieties … and even murder.

Notable wives in history include Rachel Jackson who “married Andrew Jackson in 1791, thinking that her first husband had divorced her, but they had to remarry in 1794, giving rise to adultery and bigamy charges raised against Jackson when he ran for president” — and Eleanor Roosevelt who “helped with Franklin’s political career, despite her devastation in 1918 to discover his affair with her social secretary.” (womenhistory.about.com)

Who is your most memorable politician’s wife, husband or significant other?

– Patd is a Trail Mix Contributor. Post a thread about Midterm races in your neck of the woods: Here’s how.

Hillary vs Mitt 2.0?

Nash 2.5
I know what you’re thinking: “Yes, Hillary will be nominated, but Mitt Romney? Again?”

The problem with all the other potential GOP presidential candidates is that either they are indicted (Perry), about to be indicted (Walker, Christie), the Tea Party hates them (Rubio, Paul), or they are just too crazy, even for the GOP (Cruz, Palin, Bachmann).

Then there’s Bush III (Jeb).  When you see him on TV, doesn’t he seem to be half-asleep?  Even his own mother thought he wouldn’t be a good candidate.

Paul Ryan?  He just doesn’t LOOK “Presidential.”  He looks like Hoody Doody, baby boomers’ favorite 1950s kid show puppet.  Check out this video and see if you agree…

Which leaves the GOP with Mitt, or rather “Mitt 2.0”.

He’s arrogant, he’s rich, and he’s still totally clueless, but if the “establishment” Republicans throw their support (and their money) behind him, he could wipe out all the other GOP contenders, one by one, as they emerge from the clown car.  He did it before, and he can do it again.

I think “Hillary vs Mitt” would be really fun to watch in debates.

What do you think?

– Nash 2.5 is a Trail Mix Contributor. Read More by this author.
How to Become a Contributor