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From my Alabama/Mississippi primaries notebook (Santorum won both)
• Romney couldn’t “seal the deal” with GOP base if he hired Navy Seals
• Best Romney Exit Poll news: He won a plurality of Civil War re-enactors who play Union generals
• Callista thought bubble: “If we drop out will Sheldon Adelson pay my Tiffany bills?”
• If Newt doesn’t say “frankly” before this speech ends, he must be dropping out
• Finally, Romney finds his voice: He’s not speaking tonight
• Newt has said he’s “going all the way to Tampa.” He neglected to mention it would only be for a book signing
• Mitt’s Southern Strategy: “Why didn’t we just let them secede!”
• Romney spins lousy night with delegate math PowerPoint presentation. Passion!
• Newt declares victory over Ron Paul, to skip next primaries for Lunar Caucus
• Mitt loses MS, blames Haley Barbour for not pardoning white collar felons
• Santorum wins GOP Alabama, stunning show of strength in states where 25% oppose interracial marriage
• What’s up with these slow AL MS returns? Oh yeah, forgot, they count with their feet
• AL, MS exit polls: Santorum wins those who think George Washington was a Lesbian
• How low is AL, MS turnout? So low more eligible voters preferred eating sawdust without butter
• AL, MS exit polls: Newt wins 51% who own George Wallace bobbleheads
• Watching CNN: AL prisoners helping vote count. Their jumpsuits look more comfy than pajama jeans
• CNN reports AL using prisoners to assist vote count. Better than asking Iowa for help
• Polls: Most Al MS Goopers think Obama a Muslim. Good for America they’re irrelevant after tonight
• Romney plans Chicago pander for next Tue: “I love those windy days, just the right velocity for sailing on those really great lakes.”
• Mitt pander for NY primary? “I love cream cheesey bagels” then sings Fiddler on the Roof, “If I Weren’t a Rich Man” (I wouldn’t be the frontrunner).
• Forgive Alabama and Mississippi: Too small to be nations, Too big to be mental institutions.
Stephen Colbert prefers “knowledge-free” GOP speeches
Now on The Trail"It's ME it's ME It's ERNEST T!" "I LOVES you, Ramona!" ( I am always telling t...So , Assad has the Russians pledge to give him aid ,he's got the Iranians coming...I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now......Mq...e t bass it is.....cool...MQW, I always liked how Ernest spoke in rhyme. Maybe you should try that...Earnest T. Bass , that's me , come into town every now then chunking rocks ,brea...You are correct renee about the lack of women characters. But we can always gend...Opie...I keep thinking the onliest one of those guys I could be is opie, cause I WASopi...Movingon, I agree.. Sorry for all the deaths in Syria but the US needs to conce...Syria. In for a penny, in for a pound? Or should we continue to half-step? Perso...Show characters regular and recurring...."Hello, Doll" I'll go for Daphne one of the "fun girls". Who wants to be my pa...patd... the idea of us being Mayberry characters is intriguing... but...there ...Sturg, Patd -- I love this Trail as Mayberry characters concept. Luv Otis. But w...
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