Our great national political conventions are finally over and now the news media must get back to talking to themselves without free food and drink at the CNN Grill.
What have we learned? First, the GOP escaped Tampa without Chris Christie eating Delaware. Had he done so, Clint Eastwood’s YouTube hits would have registered well under 500 billion. But either way no one other than Mitt Romney’s private pilot knew he was actually there.
The Democrats met in something called Charlotte, which is actually Atlanta for clueless Priceline shoppers. There we heard the first lady and Bill Clinton. Beyond that, we don’t remember. Except for when Joe Biden burst on stage shirtless in pirate garb swallowing torches of fire.
Oh but wait, yes the President did show up to re-enact the killing of bin Laden with a Power Point presentation of heavily edited Road Runner cartoons. Then Joe Biden ruined the moment by crashing the stage in a vintage Pontiac and soiled tank top, spitting tobacco chew on a Romney-Ryan poster.
Taxpayers expressed delight that their $136 million in combined contributions to these conventions were so well spent. Except for the Democrats denying us balloons on their closing night. Apparently balloons in North Carolina, like hotel rooms and zoo animals, are non-union. So the money was instead funneled to confetti factories reportedly controlled by Cleveland mobsters with ties to Solyndra.
Still, the conventions served their purpose: Waiting for pollsters to tell us if there was a “bounce,” which almost never happens unless we trap the candidates in zero-gravity wind tunnels. Even then the experts are likely to say, “Look, there goes a squirrel.”
And before you know it, the debates are upon us, we forget the conventions ever happened and after that we forget the debates ever happened. Thankfully then, Election Day is soon over and we can move on to the nation’s more important business of speculating about 2016 candidates and booking convention hotel rooms with the fewest reported sightings of bed bugs.
If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing it!
103 Responses to Why Conventions Matter (Not!)
Now on The Trail
After watching the last three nights in Charlotte, I feel like I actually have something about which to woo-hoo!
Craig, sugar, I LOVE it when you go on these wild-mind kicks like this!
Gotta say though, I don’t think Joe B. could fool anybody into believing he’s a real redneck even in free association--he’s got all his teeth, and magnificent chompers they are--
To make us knobites believe he’s one of us Joe would have to be wearing a greasy tee (cause he just crawled out from under his Ford F150) with the sleeves cut out by somebody who was too drunk at the time to be allowed to use a pair of scissors--with denim cutoffs sadly baggy in the seat and flip-flops. For the driveby spittin’ he’d miss the Romney-Ryan sign half-buried in ragweed (he’d have better luck nailing it with a sneeze)--
And oh, yes--he MUST have some kind of totally incongruous lapdog perched on his left knee, head out the window. Preferably a chihuahua, but a minpin or a poodle would do in a crunch--
Just sayin’--
Was this supposed to be Paul Ryan’s version of the way things went down? It seems like he would have embellished a bit more.
Which is greener, solar-powered confetti or balloons filled with readily-available hot air?
I did miss you sitting out in the midst of things, as you did in Herald Square for the Republican convention. Look for something strange from John McCain, you said. That something turned out to be his VP pick four years later.
Ah thanks for the memories there Blue but gotta say I sure don’t miss doing it. My circus days at these things are over.
Ha, great post Faire! Must say i do like Joe, but pokin fun at him never gets old. And about those “wild mind kicks,” have a feeling this will be the only way I can follow this dumb campaign
clint Eastwood says speech was, “mission Accomplished”. Are we sure he’s not a secret Democrat.
how could we have better spent that $136 million?
let us count the ways…
approximately 4000 elementary school teachers for a year
http://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Elementary_School_Teacher/Salary
a fewer less than 4000 registered nurses, electricians also according to above payscale site
34 (plus or minus) unmanned predator drones
according to wiki unit cost $4.03 mil
I’m a Democrat and I liked the show. I don’t think I should pay for it though. And if I am going to pay for it then I want some other parties involved too
Craig… “this dumb campaign”… oh yeah… you’ve got that right.
I’m really glad both conventions are over. Now comes the nastiness. And I’m with you, Craig… the only way to get through the next 2 months as a political junkie without going insane is with a very healthy sense of humor.
“Thankfully then, Election Day is soon over and we can move on to the nation’s more important business of speculating about 2016 candidates and booking convention hotel rooms with the fewest reported sightings of bed bugs.”
LOL, Craig!!!
Faire, I agree with Craig, GREAT POST!!
…. if someone’s going to try to do sarcastic humor (some might use the word mean instead of sarcastic), then do it right.
I completely blame the media(and money) for the downfall of campaigning and politics. Instead of reporting the media declared themselves the referees and
made up the rules depending upon who they liked or their corporate parents liked.
I watched the convention mostly on c-span but also on CNN to see what line of crap they were handing out. Not a shred of actual reporting took place.
Rick Bragg’s video
The other day when I linked ‘My Brothers Garden’, I went on to listen to the video the author had linked to it. I LOVED IT.
…. especially the end: ‘I love writing about people who get it…. and you don’t have to explain yourself’. He goes on to say he’s been explainin’ himself for a long time, and that he’s not doin’ it anymore. (I’m paraphrasing, of course).
I’ve never lived anywhere that southern, but it sure was nice to hear a different point of view.
KGC
I couldn’t agree more.
I really laughed at that article. It Made me feel better about wasting my morning at the LA job fair. What a disaster that was. “So you want me to get a job so I can get your job? Yeah…that makes a lot of sense.”
Has the Joe Biden speech been put up UNEDITED? ha ha.
What the hell is this?
- Now that I have read this, the quality of my day has gone down.
Judging by the news noise, I don’t think we are waiting for the election to start speculating about 2016. There was lots of talk about “benches” and who had the best and deepest and they were already to play ball no matter who actually inhabited 1600.
I remember Chris Matthews kept talking about how the Republicans have the ‘better bench’ for 2016 earlier this year. Is that still the majority opinion?
Who is on that Republican bench….Pete Wilson????
Harborw…
I downloaded that book you mentioned by Mike Lofgren this morning… I’ve read the first couple of chapters. I’m LOVING it… thanks so much for the recommendation.
If it wals like a bounce and talks like a bounce, it just may be a bounce: Gallup -- Obama at 52%
So the bigotpacs have stopped spending in Michigan because they thought it was hopeless…I feel sorry for the rest of the battleground states — oh wait they are all going to Obamarama now
based on realclearpolitics
Has any candidate for president not won a single state
It would seem that people are discounting the “jobs” numbers as long as the safety net exists: 538
LIke it or not, the British idea of “redundancy” has entered the US economy where the unnecessary occupations get pushed to the side and retired until they die off while the up an comers get educated in the new fields.
How is mittens going to create 700k private sector jobs in Florida --hire them all himself
instead of car elevators he will just have crews of people carrying the cars up and down ramps
ah… chuck one up for democracy….
Ohio Secretary of State backs down on early voting…
RealClearPolitics’ website hurt my eyes. What is with all the red?
Watching President Obama, I kept hearing echoes of this movie scene:
Red is supposed to avoid causing your pupils to contract -- at least at night. Not sure what that has to do with RCP, but it is a rather annoying color scheme for a website as dense as RCP. But you’ll get used to it.
Cleaning Up the Economy
By PAUL KRUGMAN
I’m starting a KickStarter campaign to raise money for Romney to dye his sideburns black. We’re aiming for $12.
Scumbag Eastwood took the Auto Industries money to do the Superbowl ad AND THEN HE SOLD DETROIT OUT!
LONG LIVE AMERICA! FOUR MORE YEARS! FIRED UP, READY TO GO!
TheDixieDove
http://thedixiedove.com/
The Climate Report -
Today it was 102F @ 3:00 P.M. in the garden .
2 days ago, it rained one inch, in 25 mins.
The water harvester, worked perfectly. Filled the entire thing that fast.
This day in history -
1936 Lubbock, Texas …….. Charles Hardin Holly was born.
He would have been 76 .
Driving home tonight NPR, ran a sappy story about what else ?
Fucking Don, Fucking Mc Clean, and his Fucking ‘American Pie” !
It’s Buddy Holly’s 76 birthday, let’s listen & talk about this 2 hit wonder instead.
Never the less, it’s 1st Friday Art Trail, …… I sally forth tonight wearing jeans I wore when we did his 50th birthday party. And my “Attack the Messenger” T-shirt.
This shirt is very ironic when I model it.
I’ll get you a picture
CBob
You will love that a favorite professional piano player of my acquaintance from many moons ago had McClean come in and egotist requested his own song. Said piano play said he didn’t know the lyrics but could he play “That’ll Be the Day” instead?
The Big Dawg wasn’t the only one getting the crowd on their feet. My congressman did a good job too
Where is Orin Hatch when you really need him (is he dead?)
Gov Granholm for president — her speech was the best!
ugh ABC just tried to help rehabilitate Eastwood
Joe Scarborough, Jim VandeHei and the “Very Progressive” Democrats in Charlotte
by Taylor Marsh
The entire media world, just about, is trying to rehabilitate
mitt’s campaign. I saw Brett ask mitt if he regretted saying something. mitt laughed, crossed his leg (what a tell!) and said he only regretted Brett asking him about it. What a worm. Then he gave his answer, and the word hit me that everything they say is so superficial! He hasn’t given any details because he doesn’t really know any. He literally doesn’t know how the government works. He knows surface stuff and expects to get fillers from other people he thinks
will take care of :”it” He would find himself serving many masters, and it would be a blood bath.
I have a consfession to make in that I have never been a fan of the lump of granite people call Clint. I think most of his movies have been unnecessarily violent using thinly veiled messages that justice just has to be served and this is the only way to do it, im other words, he has over the years made excuses for some of the most horrific actions. He made a lot of music famous, but hasn’t been a good example of how to treat women. In short, I believe his only talent is in pkaying tge piano. I wasn’t surprised at his latest gig, and as to his social politics, he kust turned hhis back on them when he tried to help kill the dreams of those he says he supports. I’ve been called a wet blanket before, but I think the man is a musically gifted neanderthal. Who’da
thunk he was so sensitive about “broken promises?”
CONGRESS RE-APPOINTS OBAMA WITHOUT ELECTION!
Wouldn’t that really freak ‘em out! Hell, they’ve been predicting it for FOUR YEARS!
We are turning the tide on our misunderstanding of history. Keep the faith. Stay strong, persevere. The Truth Will Out.
TheDixieDove
http://thedixiedove.com/
Nope, the one speech I watched was Lilly Ledbetter.
It’ll rip your heart out, and at the end she say’s ………
“Governor Rommoney does know what 23 cents an hour means”.
She fought 10 years , and lost in the Supreme Court. And she still didn’t quit.
All over 23 cents an hour.
If you sink in the North Atlantic , you want Lilly Ledbetter in your life boat.
Craig hit the nail with his comment about just where do we park all these old people
Some one needs to ask Paul Ryan just where we park all these old helpless people .
Because the sight of old people dying in the streets. Is what we’re talkin’ here.
We can always make them into a yummy paste , but that movie has run before . With Charley Heston in the lead.
If I had money , I’d put Lilly Ledbetter in a Gulf Stream , and have her make speeches until she can’t speak anymore.
When My GrandMother Said No to the N-Word
I was about ten, born in 1955. Visiting my grandparents in Seneca South Carolina. Very white and Baptist and kind people. A beautiful house and business opportunities. ‘Big Jim’ my grandfather was a very sweet man and his wife Nancy ‘Buddy’ we called her was an angel.
In a totally segregated south, Buddy reaffirmed, on the few occasions she had to, to Big Jim, that the ‘N’ word was not to be used. Don’t think that this was a small gesture. In an age where men ruled and racism railed this was a lightening strike across my grandfather’s face…and he bowed down to it gracefully. I am thankful for that.
Colorado Bob,
I am not a fan of McClean, but I can understand that his A. P. song resonated with many people who, decades later,still mourned the the loss of that young man who so profoundly affected American popular music.
I didn’t hear the NPR report because Sweetie had me cooking bbq for company, but I’ll bet they dwelt on our debt to, and McClean’s homage to, Buddy Holly.
I hope you have a happy evening, celebrating Holly’s life and music, both ended decades too early.
Think about it ……….
A. A white woman from Alabama finds out after 10 years she makes 23 cents an less than the men who do the same work.
B. She decides this isn’t fair , and decides to fight.
C. After 10 years of court fights, she is turned away like “Scott” was before the Civil War.
D. She still didn’t stop , her name bears an act of Congress, and she won.
And a black president signed the law.
That’s America at work.
If I had money , I’d put Lilly Ledbetter in a Gulf Stream , and have her make speeches until she can’t speak anymore.
And she would do it.
That 23 cents is $4,784 over 10 years and that’s assuming there were no raises in a decade or savings gathering interest. It may be 20 years since her fight began, but even today I would be upset if someone stole that amount of money from me.
Here’s that picture I promised, wearing my Coolest Craig Crawford shirt -
http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/7206/img1741ct.jpg
I sold a lot of caps tonight. On Facebook , friend the ‘Tornado Gallery’ . See the little Red Tornado on a Red cap ?
That’s as bold as I can muster.
You forgot ‘overtime’, that’s 35 cents an hour .
Trust me , Lilly worked overtime , lot’s of it.
As Lilly said -
The real irony here , the more wealth, and power women get, the better the world gets.
Unless it turns into a huge cat fight , then all the men in the world, become just pop corn eaters. We don’t care who wins , if women are really fighting each other,.
The excitement of seeing them fight with someone beyond us is breath taking.
By the way , the ‘Arctic Death Spiral’ shows no signs of slowing down.
And the results of this, are coming to everyone’s front door.
The day we hand power over to women , we will be up to our navels in flood waters.
I have seen and cracked up at this weekend’s Real Time with Bill Maher. I also caught Overtime. It was quite hilarious. Poor Bill kept trying to help Christine O’Donnell but she kept interrupting him with useless flailing over how big government cannot exist if it is big local government. It was too funny.
President Obama, Vice President Biden, First Lady Michelle Obama and Jill Biden traveled to New Hampshire for a campaign rally followed by a similar rally in Iowa
sure wish they wouldn’t travel together ’cause if something untoward happens guess who is at the head of the succession line? boehner that’s who.
examples of why i worry when they travel
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/381950/20120907/obama-twitter-death-threats-man-arrested-charlotte.htm
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/48950154
Clint Eastwood’s “empty chair” speech on youtube had only 545,991 hits as of this AM, not the “500 billion” reported above.
500 billion is actually the number of people who saw it LIVE.
Well, not exactly “people” as most of the viewers were in the Galaxy of Andromeda.
Cbob
I liked Lily Ledbetter too but Granholm was fired up.
Both gave great speeches but Granholm gave a barn burner of a political speech
Now ABC is re-enacting the Eastwood speech…his thought process leading up to the speech and all the applause he got in the hall.
I liked ms granholm…..she’s a canadian, by the way.
I got relatives all over alabama and some of ‘em remind me of ms ledbetter but none of ‘em ever got all worked up over anything…..
somehow another ms lillie pops into mind, another american lady who caused a stir in her day
and of course who can forget miss lillian, a great southern lady
DENVER — Republican vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan says the federal government shouldn’t interfere with states that have legalized medical marijuana.
on a par with nixon going to china
Jason…
I just watched Bill Maher’s Overtime… ROFLMAO!
I agree… Christine O’Donnell’s twisting pretzel explanations were hilarious… the overtime was actually better than the show, IMO.
She seems like a nice person… but she’s the epitome of why one should never try to argue with a fool.
i like taegan’s quote of the day today:
“Explainin’ stuff”, isn’t that what the press sec’y used to do? That’s what I remember Pierre doing in the early 60s.
http://www.denverpost.com/entertainment/ci_21497829/conventions-often-leave-analysts-star-struck
good quote from above ap link
Paul Ryan in california said state’s rights re marijuana should be respected and ABC’s political news from Cal was about Clint Eastwood
Nate Silver: Polls Find Hints of Obama Convention Bounce
I should say I “had” a bunch of relatives in Alabama….mostly they’s all eased on down the road.
the cousins warn’t all that much to keep up with.
the fifties…..we used to drive charleston to birmingham reg’lar…..500 miles, ten hours in a car before the interstates.
12 hours if you stopped in millageville georgia at “Eat Chili with Billy”……the home of Uncle Remus.
I wonder if Sherman burned Milledgeville…..
I miss Patsi.
Zippa-dee-doo-dah.
faire, better head for the hills. bad folk comin your way.
http://www.wbir.com/news/article/233631/2/White-supremacists-to-gather-in-East-Tennessee
It seems as though I’ve bestrode several narrow worlds like a colossus….The south…..I was in the thick of it……it was already gone with the wind, as ms mitchell so eloquently put it shortly before she got run over by a bus. We saw birmingham up close and also on the black and white tv and I lived with an old black woman watching over me…….she had a funeral lately, a whiz-banger.
carl hiaasen today:
Why they call Bill Clinton ‘Big Dog’
the old south stopped with me. did not transmute into me dottir’s bones….the new south started with her.
and we got the shit….cemetary in west georgia on the national deal….ancestors both sides from mid-1700′s…no moscas on the southern tradition of los sturgeones…..rock me in the cradle, lord…..if you get a chance, that is…..meanwhile, it took three generations after the old civil conflict but the eagle has landed.
yep….4 generations. Me old granny was borned in ’88. 23 years after Lee and Grant. One time I was laughing at Jerry Lee Lewis, Mickey Lee Gilley, and Jimmy Lee Swaggert all being middle-named “Lee” and then realized that my middle name was “Lee”. What is you gonna do?
gotta admit that one thing i like about the south is when on a sunday morning this goober calls me and says he had a whole hog i can have cause he’s got 3. I figure I can roll wid dat so I pick up the hog and go to Bernard’s place where Bernard breaks out his meat saw and severs the various pieces of wild hog and I split with him 50/50…..lotsa barbeque. Made me want to talk to an empty chair.
the crock pot is filled with the pork of homer.
I figure I must be of greek extraction…..the greeks never had any problem with burning a pig.
RR -- I completely agree that it was hilarious yet I feel very sorry for her. The reason for this is that No Republican could answer that correctly. It is one of the great hypocrisies of their ideology. Sure other Republicans would have slowed the sinking of the ship instead of falling straight down to the deepest ocean trenches, but still they would have fell nonetheless.
sturge, just for you
“12 hours if you stopped in millageville georgia at “Eat Chili with Billy”……the home of Uncle Remus.” -- Sturgeone@ 12:22pm
I ate chili right across the main street from the Brer Rabbit Park. Was that with Billy? I can’t remember. They were very nice people. Milledgeville was the Capital of GA during the Civil War. I kind of doubt that Sherman burned it, but plantation buildings up to 20 miles away probably disappeared.
Sherman’s army depended on the rail lines for nourishment, and he knew that Georgians could easily cut off his supplies. However, if the communities on either side of the rail lines were also rendered dependent on those lines, Sherman figured he’d be more secure.
Just got back from Nationals game, got a little mustard on CBob’s Tornado Gallery hat.. http://twitpic.com/asiy07
But no worries, walked home in the rain, washed it off
“Janesville Republican Paul Ryan will debate Vice President Joe Biden next month – and the Democrat who’s running for Ryan’s U.S. House seat wants a debate as well.
Ryan is on the ballot for both vice president and the 1st District House….”
Oregon State defeated Wisconsin 10-7 today…a pleasant surprise after losing last year, 35-0…
I am reading Bill Clinton’s most recent book…Every page is like his convention speech…you cannot help but learn when reading his words…
Pat,
Thanks so much for the Bill Clinton piece from the Miami Herald..Too good, amazing President Clinton..
Oh and you have gotten so good with the linking, YOUR AMAZING TOO!
Oregon State defeated Wisconsin 10-7 today…
feh
Called Out by Republicans, Clinton Answers in Masterful Convention Speech
By Joe Conason
Pennsylvania Wants Voters To Show ID ‘If You Care About This Country’by RYAN J. REILLY (VIDEO)
Obama Second Term = Grand Bargain
By: Jon Walker
When I was born in 1942, I think people’s lives tended to be spent in their own blocks and homes, at least where I lived.
Rural areas and cities offered more opportunities and needs to get out and about, but the music I heard was from my parents, which meant from my mother’s piano playing and records.because there was no tv. When Hound Dog came, we learned re rock and roll very quickly, but that didn’t make my sisters and me forget the old stuff.
God, I loved Phil Harris! When Jimmie Durante had his show
and had guests like Sophie Tucker and Ted Lewis on, we watched them on Tv, and I can remember my folks sighing and maraveling that they could see these great stars in their own homes. Previously, they had to go to movies to see them and my folks were thrilled. I didn’t have this perspective then, but I remember trying to understand why my folks thought they were so great, and I figured it out.
The best, tho, was Firestone. If I could tell you of my devotion… the melody makes me tear up even now. Can you believe NBC had its own orchestra? They had guests like Dorothy Kirsten and Jan Pearce and Richard Tucker and Anna Moffo and Gordon MacRae.
My point is that I loved to links to the old music. Thanks
KGC
I think I’m getting old
Mizzou played some one in the SEC tonight but it is not the Big Eight eh, who cares. tell me when the Oklahoma game is on.
Just keep in mind when you’re on farcebook putting out personal info it’s all being recorded and stored for future data mining .
That goes for emails ,phone calls ,texts ,google searches and Financial transactions .
That’s so they will know where to send the predator drone to when dissent and protest is outlawed
MQW, I think dissent and protest are most likely to be outlawed when
a Roberts scotus rules that it’s constitutional to block the vote.
I cannot believe so much is being made over Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria. Who cares? Maybe its to turn on voters? Maybe it’s a new skin cream? Hell, maybe they finally got skin cancer from all the days on the fucking beach.
This CNN video was a joke. Just me mentioning it is a joke. Good Lord.
Jack,
Believe it or not, Mizzou is now an SEC member school. Now they can choke in the big games on a larger stage.