Heavenly Bloomberg

Former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg says he’s got a free pass to heaven thanks to his work protecting city dwellers from themselves.

I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close.” – Bloomberg (New York Times)

Curbing obesity, smoking, salt and sugar did the trick, he thinks. But just in case he needs a few more credentials Bloomberg is putting up $50 million to build a grassroots organization for stronger gun laws, such as expanding background checks for gun buyers at state and national levels.

Even the persistent Bloomberg has given up on getting Congress to pass an assault weapons ban. They probably have those in heaven too, or maybe the NRA can’t get in.

First video by Bloomberg’s new group, Every Town for Gun Safety.

Free Guns for Voters
On the other side of the issue we have politicians giving away guns in their campaigns. Mother Jones lists several — a few examples:

  • Rep. Paul Broun (R-Ga.), 2014: The US Senate candidate gave away a Colt AR-15 and a Colt Marine Corps 1911 Rail Pistol to two members of his email list.
  • South Carolina state Sen. Lee Bright, 2014: Bright, who is challenging Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), is handing out an AR-15 from Palmetto State armory to a member of his email list.
  • Tennessee state Rep. Joe Carr, 2014: Sen. Lamar Alexander’s tea party challenger enticed voters to sign up for his email list by gifting a Beretta 92A1.
  • Steve Wagner, 2014: The Hendricks County, Indiana, sheriff candidate is raffling off four shotguns.
  • Former Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.), 2014: The former presidential candidate and current Colorado gubernatorial contender is teaming up with Ted Nugent—who once told his rivals to “suck on my machine gun”—to hand out an AR-15 to one supporter (no donations necessary).

60 thoughts on “Heavenly Bloomberg”

  1. Woo Hoo – Simple statement: Bloomberg’s right (well except for the heaven part … not too sure of the existence of same)

    In the meantime, Here is the Leaderboard for the Derby. Cross outs mean they have been pulled from contention. Only 20 horses can get in so as the decisions are made between now and the post position draw, horses will move in and out. I’ll post the final at the end of the month. Keep me up to date on your choices.

  2. Bloomberg is another rich nitwit who can’t figure out why he is not the President.

    Rich people are arrogant: they think they can do anything and that they have the right to do anything.

    And they think WE should all do want they TELL us to do.

    Rich people don’t really believe in democracy.

  3. The expanding background checks for gun buyers is fine by me… but the rest of it…

    haven’t we learned anything from prohibition… IMO, you really can’t legislate people’s personal habits. It just gives fuel to the opposition for calling Democrats the party of the nanny state.

  4. Good on Bloomberg (sort of). Interesting that he is the one telling St. Peter and his boss what he will and will not do. I guess he thinks that his death is an election to Mayor of heaven.

    For you bike enthusiasts out there (and you know who you are).The US army is planning to build a stealth dirt bike.

    But Nash’s point is well taken. (And if I want a Big Gulp, screw Bloomberg.

  5. Craig,

    I was hoping “Strong Mandate” would move up the list so that you would have a ready made Exacta but he is too far out of the standings with only 11 points.

  6. You could write what I know about horse racing on the head of a pin and still have room for the Gettysburg Address. I wouldn’t Chityu.

  7. good to see this from that mother jones article

    Historically, these gun giveaways haven’t been terribly successful. With the exception of three incumbent politicians, none of the candidates who have tried to entice voters with firearms have ever gone on to win their races.

    and hope that mother will follow-up beyond which candidate won/lost to include what giftee mischief or tragedy resulted from said gun gifts.

  8. jamie, looks like giovanni boldini is still dragging his irish trained behind in that list. if he doesn’t make it, please put me down for wildcat red.

  9. …heaven’s lower-income residents are already bracing for a Bloomberg-led gentrification. No one will be able to drive through Heaven without paying at least $50 in tolls. But, hey, I hear they’re going to be putting in a Pinkberry.

  10. Unfortunately, the collective hasn’t uploaded the old ’90s SNL skit where Tim Robbins plays a billionaire, who is funding research to discover a way to pass a camel through the eye of a needle. If the collective had done so, I would embed it here.

  11. If he gets to go to heaven for that..he’ll be standing in line behind a lot of other people

    Ted and Tom out in public..I say Republicans are doomed

  12. bloomberg, trump, and george f. will cry out simultaneously, “What are you two doing here ?”

    After a moment of silent thought, they breathe a simultaneous, ” Oh, oh.”

  13. 2,800 New Yorkers died from the one terrorist attack on 9/11/01.

    More New Yorkers die every year
    of obesity,
    of lung, throat, and mouth cancer,
    and of diabetes.

    (However, not nearly as many die of gunshots.)

    The point I want to make is, what’s the diff ?

    Is it that we think it’s okay to commit suicide by mouth ?

    Or, is it that we’re just used to folks dying certain types of horrible deaths, while we aren’t used to nice, quick, deaths by violence ?

  14. When we adopt the 1%er language, we 99%ers lose our authority and our arguments. Hardly any of us have experience with nannies. Au pairs, perhaps, but real nannies ? No. Therefore, the concept of the ‘nanny state’ is strange, and difficult for the vast majority of Americans to think and talk about.

    However, the vast majority of Americans understand babysitters, and see baby sitting as benign, normal, and useful. Therefore, let us object to the use of ‘nanny state’ diction, and force the 1%ers to talk about a ‘baby sitter state’, a conversation in which they will lose their unjustified advantage.

  15. By the way, I sure would like to have that 1911 Colt. But, to support the vicious paul broun, I’d need at least a Fabbri shotgun.

    Now that I think about it, I’d probably need a matched pair of Fabbris.

  16. My sister was a nanny in NYC for years. I don’t care what label one chooses for trying to legislate personal habits… the results will be the same.

    I can just imagine it now… underground places with thugs guarding the door where one can get those prohibited twinkies, little debbies, potato chips, big bottles of soda, etc., etc… all for a price. Next thing you know cops are being bribed and empires are being built.

    We’ve never seen the likes of it before…. 😉

  17. from abc

    Putin to Snowden: “we’ve no mass surveillance, our secret agencies are under control”.

    and I, putie, am the easter bunny

  18. Bloomberg has way too much money. He should send every New Yorker, make that every human American, a couple of thousand bucks and be done.

  19. RebelliousRenee: … underground places with thugs guarding the door where one can get those prohibited twinkies, little debbies, potato chips, big bottles of soda, etc., etc… all for a price.

    … and I’ll be first in line!
    Right on, as usual, Renee.

  20. Blonde Wino: He should send every New Yorker, make that every human American, a couple of thousand bucks and be done.

    … problem is, how long will it be before that $2000 is gone?
    Chances are, it will end up right back in Bloomberg’s hands again.

    (we could just give every New Yorker a $2000 tax return and accomplish the same thing)

  21. Here’s an idea… if we don’t like the rules, change them. Rather than demonize those who take advantage of those rules.

    Uncle Sam should have that ability.

  22. $2000 can buy a few sins. Bloomberg is sin-free, thus his free ticket into heaven, I am not…I lay well-intentioned bricks on the road to hell.

  23. I’m definitely not against people in need getting $2000, Blonde.

    Go for it. But are we sure we want to ‘force’ one person to ‘give it’ to another… maybe we can convince someone to give it ‘voluntarily’, being as we have a (battling) democracy here and all.

    I am serious about the $2000 tax return… go for it. It would do wonders for the economy. Just keep in mind that unless things change, the Bloomberg’s of the world will benefit from it too.

  24. Blonde,
    I have only good wishes and hopes for you. I certainly hope you don’t take anything I say personally.

    I would like nothing more than to help you, if I can.

  25. People who make junk food should be supersized on their taxes — take some responsibility for the damage they do to our national budget

  26. Renee,

    I, personally, would object to being forced to pay drug pusher prices for a small bag of cheetos.

    What other people are forced to pay for a litre of pepsi brand sugar water is of no concern.

    ( :>D))<

  27. Ignex @ 3:50pm yesterday :

    “…heaven’s lower-income residents”

    A different source :

    “There are many rooms in my Father’s tenement.”

  28. xrepublican: , personally, would object to being forced to pay drug pusher prices for a small bag of cheetos.

    ROFLMAO, XR!!!
    Those last 3 posts were priceless, hysterical!

    … have a good Easter, all.

  29. big news this week that It’s Raining Money: Midterm Election Breaks Spending Records. much is being opined on who’s giving, whose campaign is getting, but nothing on who’s profiting. really really profiting. it’s been estimated that 60% of campaign funds go for tv ads. that’s a lot of $$$ in this record breaking year.
    a lot of temptation on the part of tv pundits and station managers not to mess with the goose laying the golden eggs.

  30. Thank you, Chloe.

    I hope your Easter is the best yet.

    I’d like to have Cheetos for dinner on Easter, but my nanny wife won’t let me.
    ( :>p ))<

  31. xrepublican,


    This is the sort of thing that shows up in “Freakonomics”. It is more dangerous for a child to be near a swimming pool than a gun but parents feel more in control of the water than they would be of random violence when the child is away from home.

    Also there is a psychological impact. A child raised where they have to sleep in the bathtub on New Year’s Eve to protect from random gun fire feels more threatened than one enjoying the summer sun while canon balling into the family pool.

  32. Craig.Crawford,

    One of trainer Todd Pletcher’s handful of anticipated Triple Crown hopefuls is off the Kentucky Derby trail.
    Constitution, winner of last month’s Grade I Florida Derby, sustained a hairline fracture in his right-front cannon bone, an injury discovered Monday after the undefeated son of Tapit breezed a half mile in :50 3/5 on Sunday at Palm Meadows’ training track in Florida.
    “This is one of the biggest disappointments of my career,” Pletcher said in a news release. “I really feel Constitution was our biggest chance to win the Kentucky Derby since Super Saver.

  33. Jamie,

    That’s also a problem with how statistics are used. I’m assuming that conclusion comes from the fact that more children die in a swimming pool than die of gunshots. My answer to that is , So? It’s probably more dangerous to ride in a car. But a swimming pool is designed for swimming in, a car for transportation, but a gun, particularly the typical hand gun, is designed for shooting people.

  34. Notice the latest Clinton is due in the Fall .. Do you think “She” can arrive on election day

    Your friendly neighborhood bookie is taking opinions on date and gender

  35. Just watched a show on Fox without gagging. The Five is almost bearable with one or two exceptions as there is only one male empty head and one blond bimbo. The other three range from lame leftist to almost moderate and sane.


  36. Joe Bruns,

    CJ, Nash and I have a vested interest in the health of the beast next in line of succession. To that end, I’ve cornered the market on equine calcium w/vitamin D.

  37. Jamie,

    Wow! This is going to add to my “must watch to find out what was going on while I grew up during the last 64 years” list.

  38. I’m telling you that if there is a Disney, when I get to Disneyworld, I’m not stopping to be interviewed, I’m heading straight in. I’ve earned my place in Disneyworld.

    I’m sure that the Disney Security guys will recognize my status and cheerfully comply with my expectations in a timely manner.

  39. sturgeone,

    first you gotta pay your dues of outrageous parking fees at three choice levels: v.i.p. martyr in burning hurry, cheaper rate limbo or drastic discount purgatory.

  40. So the crisis in the Ukraine isn’t as bad today as it was yesterday. Seems diplomacy without arming the old guard sometimes works. A little early to crow, but the signs seem good.

    And Hilary finally announces —

    — that she’s going to be a grandmother. Glad we don’t have to speculate any longer.

  41. sturge, for you a very, very strange (and possibly offensive to our friends of faith – to whom my apologies if so) aussie cartoon re story of easter

  42. Bloomberg knows he can’t take his $ with him to his imaginary heaven. Seeking legacy? He needs to start gifting.

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