Yesterday I spent 10 minutes looking for my glasses.
I searched the entire house, looking in all the places I normally leave them, on the bedroom bureau, the kitchen table, on the end table next to the recliner chair, etc, to no avail. I couldn’t find them.
Then I realized I was wearing them.
So … as a break from “politics” today, I thought it would be interesting to discuss the joys (just kidding) of growing older.
To stimulate discussion, here is my list of “Top Ten Signs that you may be a Senior Citizen,” in the style of David Letterman (reverse order):
(10) The cute new cashier at the supermarket says you look just like her grandfather.
(9) When telemarketers call, you chat for a while, because it’s not like you have anything better to do.
(8) Your primary care physician just bought a new car, thanks to you. (A Merc…loaded.)
(7) The place that you retired from has removed all signs that you ever worked there, and has hired, as your replacement, someone who was in elementary school when you started to work there.
(6) The public library is your new “hangout.” (Well… they just added a café with gourmet coffee.)
(5) You find yourself writing a letter to the city council complaining that there are not enough park benches downtown.
(4) You can’t remember the last time you got “carded” when buying a bottle of wine. (Late 1970s?)
(3) Whatever the issue under discussion, you are tempted to say, “Who cares?”
(2) You would rather sit around thinking about what you were doing in your 20s, then about what you are going to be doing tomorrow. (College sex was much more exciting before Roe v Wade.)
And now, the #1 sign that you may be a Senior Citizen…
(1) Everyone running for President is younger than you.
— Nash 2.5 is a Trail Mix Contributor