Top Ten Signs You May Be A “Senior Citizen”

Yesterday I spent 10 minutes looking for my glasses.

Nash 2.5
Nash 2.5
I searched the entire house, looking in all the places I normally leave them, on the bedroom bureau, the kitchen table, on the end table next to the recliner chair, etc, to no avail.  I couldn’t find them.

Then I realized I was wearing them.

So … as a break from “politics” today, I thought it would be interesting to discuss the joys (just kidding) of growing older.

To stimulate discussion, here is my list of “Top Ten Signs that you may be a Senior Citizen,” in the style of David Letterman (reverse order):

67-Free-Retro-Clipart-Of-A-Man-Reading-Interesting-News-From-A-Newspaper(10) The cute new cashier at the supermarket says you look just like her grandfather.

(9) When telemarketers call, you chat for a while, because it’s not like you have anything better to do.

(8) Your primary care physician just bought a new car, thanks to you.  (A Merc…loaded.)

(7) The place that you retired from has removed all signs that you ever worked there, and has hired, as your replacement, someone who was in elementary school when you started to work there.

(6) The public library is your new “hangout.”   (Well… they just added a café with gourmet coffee.)

(5) You find yourself writing a letter to the city council complaining that there are not enough park benches downtown.

(4) You can’t remember the last time you got “carded” when buying a bottle of wine. (Late 1970s?)

(3) Whatever the issue under discussion, you are tempted to say, “Who cares?”

(2) You would rather sit around thinking about what you were doing in your 20s, then about what you are going to be doing tomorrow.  (College sex was much more exciting before Roe v Wade.)

And now, the #1 sign that you may be a Senior Citizen…

(1) Everyone running for President is younger than you.

— Nash 2.5 is a Trail Mix Contributor

Published by

Nash 2.5

Retired professor of business & economics at a small college in Northern Maine.

53 thoughts on “Top Ten Signs You May Be A “Senior Citizen””

  1. nash, add to the list
    you know you’re a geezer not only if you saw the above when originally broadcast but knew the words and sang along with a tear in your eye.

  2. from wapo yesterday

    …. Do you think Dick Cheney is a credible critic of this president?

    I think the same questions could be asked of those who supported the Iraq War. You know, were they right in their predictions? Were there weapons of mass destruction there? That’s what the war was sold on. Was democracy easily achievable? Was the war won in 2005, when many of these people said it was won? They didn’t really, I think, understand the civil war that would break out. And what’s going on now — I don’t blame on President Obama. Has he really got the solution? Maybe there is no solution. But I do blame the Iraq War on the chaos that is in the Middle East.

    from motherjones in april

    several years ago the Kentucky senator was pushing the conspiratorial notion that the former VP exploited the horrific 9/11 attacks to lead the nation into war in Iraq in order to benefit Halliburton, the enormous military contractor where Cheney had once been CEO.
    [….] In not widely noticed appearances on the campaign trail, Paul claimed that Cheney’s advocacy of the invasion of Iraq was partly nefarious and predicated on corporate self-interest, not national security priorities.

    On April 7, 2009, as Paul was on the cusp of announcing his senatorial bid, he spoke to student Republicans at Western Kentucky University. Recalling President Dwight Eisenhower’s warning about the military-industrial complex, he noted, “We need to be fearful of companies that get so big that they can actually be directing policy.” And the company he had in mind was Cheney’s former home: “When the Iraq War started, Halliburton got a billion-dollar no-bid contract. Some of the stuff has been so shoddy and so sloppy that our soldiers are over there dying in the shower from electrocution. I mean, it shouldn’t be sloppy work; it shouldn’t be bad procurement process. But it really shouldn’t be that these people are so powerful that they direct even policy.”

    rant may be a tad daffy, but he’s consistent in this case and at times right.

  3. The text of my email to ABC. 500 character limit.

    To whom it may concern,

    I am both angry and dismayed by your booking of Mr. Cheney.

    The Iraq war was one of the worst military/foreign policy blunders in American history.

    Mr Cheney was one of the prime movers behind that fiasco.

    He and his associates were wrong about every thing. The reasons, the cost, the duration, and the outcomes.

    Expert analysis is usually made by people with a record of being right.

    Clearly Mr. Cheney is no expert.

    The American people deserve better.

    Shame on you!

  4. from abcnews

    Without Fanfare, Obama Advances Transgender Rights
    SAN FRANCISCO — Jun 21, 2014, 9:36 AM
    By LISA LEFF Associated Press

  5. “For eight years, Clinton and Gore have extended our military commitments while depleting our military power. Rarely has so much been demanded of our armed forces, and so little given to them in return. George W. Bush and I are going to change that, too. I have seen our military at its finest, with the best equipment, the best training, and the best leadership. I’m proud of them. I have had the responsibility for their well-being. And I can promise them now, help is on the way. Soon, our men and women in uniform will once again have a commander in chief they can respect, one who understands their mission and restores their morale.” Richard B. Cheney

    Heck of a job Dicky!

  6. too bad this never got off the ground when proposed back in ‘o7.
    an oldie from opednews

    Wexler, who represents an ultra-Democratic Palm Beach-Broward district, recently took an e-mail poll of about 3,000 constituents and found 61 percent in favor of impeaching Cheney and removing him from office. Wexler insists he hasn’t prejudged the matter but wants hearings to probe whether Cheney manipulated intelligence to bamboozle the U.S. into war with Iraq, which Wexler voted to authorize in 2002.

    too bad at the time speaker pelosi declared that impeachment should be “off the table”…. who gave her that advice and do she and they now regret it? some smart pundit should ask about it.

  7. Favorite old age things are part of I do not look my age, most people guess by about 20 to 30 years too young.
    You are the oldest person in the office and remember how to use a tape player and starting recently, operating a VHS player.

    When asked my age I do not answer immediately with a number, just “I was born when Truman was president”, the facial expressions are priceless. The first squish is to guess who this Truman person is. The second squish is when they realize he or she might be a president. Followed by the third squish of when the hell was he a president. Delightful.

    My little division, only about 24 of us in the office, held little parties for those celebrating their birthday. The celebrant is turning 30, someone gets the bright idea to ask everyone to guess what will happen when they turn 30 or what did happen when the year they turned 30. First thing is to do the math to figure out what year you did turn 30, then you slip off to do a quick search of the year 1980 and find out that the US Olympic hockey team beat the Soviets and Mount St. Helens blew up. Rather than confuse the children with events they might now know about you keep quiet.

  8. I find myself caring less & less about what people think of me, which is nice. People tend to think I’m younger than I am, which is nice, but can be awkward. Wish I felt as young; sometimes people just don’t get that, either. My priorities have changed.

  9. I’m not sure that misplacing something is necessarily indicative of anything bad.
    I caught myself putting my toothbrush in the freezer…about a dozen years ago.

    Sometimes being overwhelmed by work, etc., just means there is no room/time for much else. I haven’t had more than 9 days off at one time since I was 25. I think about work when I’m not there. I would love two weeks off, not thinking about stuff piling up on my desk of how many emails would be waiting for me.

    But, I’ve been working since I was 13 & I’m grateful to have always had a job, but I would love to semi-retire. Looking forward to that.

  10. I’ll add a few, not necessarily ranked by importance or humor.

    –Receive senior discount without asking for it

    –Younger grocery shoppers ask if they can help you find something

    –Publix baggers automatically carry out your bags

    –At a new doc’s office you’re routinely carded, “May I see your Medicare card?”

    –Young people ‘walk’ you across busy parts of parking lots.

    –You can’t see crap.

    –Balance issues argue for a fall before long.

    –When you were born everyone knew the president was FDR. Nobody knew of HST.

  11. Even Hillary is three years younger than I am and my grandson gets frustrated when I can’t remember the attributes of classes and races in Munchkin.

    Luckily I have been 36 for the last 34 years.

  12. There have been some Interesting comments on aging today and some good stuff from the Muppets.

  13. Here is an intriguing title coming out later this year:

    Dog Whistles, Walk-Backs, and Washington Handshakes: Decoding the Jargon, Slang, and Bluster of American Political Speech [Paperback]

    Pick up your copy through the sidebar link to Amazon.

  14. Craig.Crawford:
    By the way I’ll be on Howard Kurtz Media Buzz tomorrow 11a re-airs 5p on Fox, talking Hillary and Iraq coverage.

    Set your alarm. But, I suppose not to worry, if you’re late for eleven, you can always show-up at five.

    Not bad logic for a mature person, eh?

  15. blueINdallas:
    I find myself caring less & less about what people think of me, which is nice.People tend to think I’m younger than I am, which is nice, but can be awkward.Wish I felt as young; sometimes people just don’t get that, either.My priorities have changed.

    I don’t like hanging around with my age cohort because all they do is complain about work, life and how much they look forward to retiring. My co-workers who do know my age always comment that I do not think or act my age. Which is nice because I enjoy doing and having fun.

  16. when someone offers to “fix a plate” for you so you don’t have to go through the buffet line

  17. Craig on Fox at 11:00 AM.

    The last time he was on Fox, the other members of the panel hardly let him speak.

    I’ve noticed that about right wingers: they like to interrupt, or just keep “talking over” you when you try to get a word in.

  18. Nash 2.5:
    Craig on Fox at 11:00 AM.

    The last time he was on Fox, the other members of the panel hardly let him speak.

    I’ve noticed that about right wingers: they like to interrupt, or just keep “talking over” you when you try to get a word in.

    Other than being horribly rude ala Chris Matthews our own left leaning buffoon, the right wing “commentators” never actually say anything. It is just a repetitive stream of exactly the same talking points which is always hilarious when Stewart puts them in a single video echoing each other.

  19. httpv://

    Sunday Serendipity.

    So many fine versions of this song. This is one of my favorite. Find some shade, a cool drink and enjoy!

  20. jace, thanks for bringing forth these artists from our 45-RPM days when the quality of transcription started doing justice to the quality of the artists. During her entire career Ms Vaughan was at the top of her profession–deservedly so.

  21. Craig, tell Howard that I thought he did a piss-poor job of moderating the last time you were on. If he’s not going to let you articulate a relevant point, your stipend should be multiplied by two for each transgression.

  22. Some days I miss important tidbits of the new America. You know the little ones, the ones that the Republicans tell us are reducing the uber-rich to poverty. Small but potent bits that are destroying the impact of the Cheney war threats. The ones immigrants have been using to force changes on how we live.

    Why have we not heard the screams of “Obama is destroying baseball” or “Obama is destroying tiddly-winks”? Where are the Republicans? It is their lack of action that means they are losing the newest war on sports.

    Forget soccer. Soccer moms were supposed to be changelings from Dems to Repubs. Suburbia wins or loses with this deep underground threat. Will Little League Baseball be the next to disappear to world domination?

    There a few issues, such as Abe Lincoln liked the sport. Why is something you will need to ask him. Also, because it is so stealthy outside of certain safe houses or hidden fields, you will have a hard time spotting it.

    Cricket returns to the colonies. As a youngster I tried to understand the “game”, but being too young to drink I never did. Now, I have little desire to join in as my batsman days are long gone. Although a good G&T is nice to enjoy while sitting on the green, even without a match on the telly.

    I tell you right now, America returning to cricket as the national sport means doom to the Republicans.

  23. Blue

    You don’t have to understand cricket. Watching beautiful, young, slender people in white while sipping on something cool and basking for hours in the summer sun is all that is required.

  24. Jamie:

    I don’t think Matthews is “left-leaning.”

    I’ve been watching his show since the 1990s, and I’d say he is a moderate-conservative Democrat.

    He only seems to be more left-wing today because he’s aggressively calling out the extreme right wing shift of the GOP.

  25. Nash 2.5,

    Nash, I agree he isn’t “liberal” except by comparison. He is certainly a long way from his often touted 30 years after the fact mentor, Tip O’Neil.

  26. Four people on Fox, and Craig is doing about 10% of the talking.

    Kurtz just interrupted him.

    He lets the right wingers talk, and talk, and talk, but Craig gets cut off.

  27. Lauren Ashburn and Craig did well. Richard Grenell is coming across as an apologist for the right wing. Intelligent but not all that thoughtful or insightful. Of course, he was Romney’s spokesperson so it may just be a bad habit.

  28. Nash, I said about all I wanted to say on a pleasant Sunday best suited for being outside. (Ha, at the break I thought we were done and the crew had to cram me back in the chair.) All in all I rather enjoyed the conversation.

  29. Harborwoman and I are going to at the races at Emerald Downs today. Let’s hope some of the ones we like run at the head of the pack.

  30. Listen up, Boss!

    If they start talking over you, tell them that “Down South people have better manners than you Yankees do.”

  31. Tweety is a blue dung Democrat. He’ll support actions that empower people if there is no corporatist alternative.

  32. Arianna just arrived here to give a speech at Macy’s.

    Fashion ? Politics ? Fashionable politics ? Political fashions ?

  33. There was this one running gag in Sanford and Son that I never understood……it was Fred rummaging thru this one drawer full of eyeglasses when he had to read something. I get it now.

  34. While living at NATTC, Millington, Kohler from Monroe, Mich. and Hansen ( it’s an “e” not an “o” ) from Staten Island, and I would pile in Kohler’s Fairlane and shoot down into Mississipi on the weekends. At the time we could drink in Mississippi under 21. The plan was no plan but drive till we got lost and then drive some more till we found a way out. We saw a awful lot of Mississippi that way. I don’t remembr finding out much about the state except it looks pretty much exactly like every movie you’ve ever seen which purported to be in or about Mississippi….

  35. Thanks to Nash for a great post. Aging is worth talking about as baby boomers get there. Soon, about 25% of all Americans will be there. Bring it on and kick some ass!

Comments are closed.